barbayat: (fanfic the taking)

Hard Target (1993)

A John Woo Action movie with Van Damme as the hero, the story focuses on the two bad guys played by Arnold Vosloo (Pik) and Lance Hendrisken (Emil)

Characters:Pik Van Cleaf, Emil Fouchon
Pairings:Pik Van Cleaf / Original Female Character


Pik ends up on a road trip with Sandrine Mosley, a soon 18-year old girl who may or may not be Fouchon's daugther. Although Pik is a professional, he is also a sadistic killer and his hostage intrigues him.

This is a rewrite of the same story I wrote 10 years ago. I always knew I needed to overhaul it and now I am doing it. It is becoming much more explicit. The word count is rising and that with about the same stuff happening as before. However, I do try to reflect more on why Sandrine acts the way she does by bringing up how her relationship with her father influenced her. I also made things a bit steamier, by including a few fantasies from Pik about her which go into non-con territory. I also want to make it clearer that she becomes attracted to Van Cleaf even though or maybe because he scares her.

Things that might turn a beta reader off:
  • awkward sentence structure
  • misuse of words (I am not a native speaker)
  • age difference (she is almost 18 and he is closer to 40)
  • Pik fantasizing about raping the OC (which I can leave out, I need a M version for anyway)
  • sexual tension often bordering on sexual assault
  • one count of definite sexual assault (clothes cutting, breast touching)
  • sex with dubious consent (not recommend for people triggered by sexual assault)
  • bondage and spanking
  • people being beaten up
  • people being shot
  • one count of torture (tied to a chair, beated up with fists)
  • long chapters
  • long story over 50k

I am just happy if I find anyone to work on the spelling and fix awkward phrases (or just tell me which sentences are really in need of fixing)
barbayat: (Loki This usually works)
As some of you might know, has this beta reader feature. Literally anyone can offer their services. However, about 80% of the listed betas haven't been to the side in years (at least from the profiles I looked at) and most of them can not properly label their entries.

I am looking for a beta for my Hard Target fanfic (which I wrote from 2001 to 2002) and I am rewriting it and I really really could use someone who does not mind the darker topic. So on top of the problem that I am the only beta listed for that movie, I need someone who would not mind reading explicit stuff (violence, dub-con and rape fantasies).

Which would be far less excruciating, if not for the fact, that most betas listed are inactive. The second problem is that while searching under the categories "All Movies" it also lists people just registered for individual stories, sometimes single fandoms. I only read Harry Potter, is not something I expect from a beta in the "All Movies" category. Fucking lazy coding, - no thanks.

To make things even more annoying, on top of all that, I find writers who object to (explicit) violence, smut or anything M while listed under the category K to M! Fuck that is it really that hard to list K-T or whatever is your limit?

I guess I end up posting the story un-beta-read and full of grammar mistakes. Not as if anyone cares to read it at any rate ....

I just wonder where did all the sadistic editors of my teenage years go to, who loved to beta-read about everything just for the fun of mocking my inability to write? I miss you guys! You were the best.

March 2014


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