barbayat: (fanfic bad becomes worse)
The title of the episode is "Legitimiate Rape".

So if you don't have a strong stomach, do not read this post. This episode makes me physically ill and being stupid enough to read a bit on the message board from imdb.com made me even more sick.

I would like to warn again strongly - do not read any of this if you are triggered by our fucking sick rape-culture. Also, I swear a lot ...(#) because I genuinely want to insult rapists and rape apologists.

So this creepy stalkerish psycho asshole raped his colleague. He stalked her privately for month. Then one day, he helped her carry stuff up to her flat. She thought he was leaving, he closed the door and stayed. When she went for the shower he raped her.

Because one asshole in the jury (I believe it was even a woman) bought that you can not get pregnant from rape bullshit the rapist's creepy doctor (who was probably a rapist himself or at least involved with a form of sexual assault) touted into the court room. Is that not lying on the stand? I don't think any OB/GYN who says that is saying that in good faith.*

And yes, the fucking shit piece defended himself so he could psychologically torture the poor woman by questioning her herself. The kicker she kept the kid because she had always tried to get pregnant and the shit piece sued for custody. He got the right to see the kid every week.

The real scary shit is that things like that can happen. Honestly, of all the western civilizations, the US be the last place I want to live. Bad enough to get fuck by a psychopath but then have the law and your jury of peers fuck you over this much. Maybe our legal system here is not so much better but at least not one in four to five woman gets raped to begin with. And there is no so such thing as excluding evidence.

Now, to the icing on this shit cake. People arguing since he was not convicted of rape, we should not call him a rapist, the woman's lawyer in family court should have called him a rapist or mentioned the sexual assault at all.

I was halfway tempted to post this - but I was not in the mood for more sexist bullshit and feminist hating. Seriously, we need feminist and decent ones, not just those who try to police every tiny bit of language because addressing the real issues is too hard.

Anyway, here it is:

If someone rapes someone that person is a rapist - just like someone who murders someone is murderer. Some who snatches a purse is a purse snatcher.

The question is whether the fucked up legal system allows for them to be convicted. That is the whole point of this show, the spin-offs and the original. A crime is committed and we (the audience) know about it and yet the guilty party is not always convicted and sometimes it turns out that something else went down.

Honestly, I bet nobody on the Hannibal board will ever come out and say, oh gee don't call him a cannibal, he has not been convicted of that crime yet.

People pulling this "Oh women make that shit up all the time", "it's not rape unless she got beaten to a pulp and screamed no till he choked her to death" crap really need to die out and fuck off the planet. I wonder what kind of unfeeling ass can say stuff like that without being ashamed for being such a heartless bastard.

My theory:
Those types probably know that their behavior invites the possibility of rape. You know the classic date rape scenario. At first he does not ask her if he might kiss her. After all she might say no. After a little kissing and some drinks, he begins grabbing her and when she protests he guilt trips her with "oh don't be so stuck up". So he goes back and forth between touches she likes.

When it is time to go, he offers to take her home for her safety. After all she is pretty drunk by now and then when he makes sure she gets to her flat/house alright, he kisses her goodbye. Then the grabbing starts, she is like "meh that is enough". He is like come on "don't be like that".

The woman raised in this fucked up rape culture feels guilty. She remembers how he told her earlier that she is so cold. Despite him not doing much. After all he paid for the dinner and all those drinks. She does not want to be one of those girls who leads guys on. She does not want to appear frigid. She is afraid that the guy might not want to see her if she does not consent. Besides she can't think straight anyway and she is deep down very tired. So she does reluctantly goes along with it.

Sexual intercourse happens (depending on how drunk the guy is he probably won't even a condom). He goes away and thinks "Yeah I scored."

Even then a thought creeps into his mind because deep done the fucker knows that he coerced her. He knows that she did not really want to have sex. That he convinced her - that had he said: "Should I go now or do you want me to have sex with you?" She would have said No. Hell she actually did but he pressed on. She complied but her heart was not really into it.

He will not care that there is a chance, that once she wakes up and her head clears she might feel very badly. Because she liked her date but she was just not ready for sex. She will blame herself. She says to herself: But I did not say no. Despite saying it earlier. She wonders if it was safe sex, she can hardly remember. She showers and still feels dirty. She just knows that she did not want to have sex, especially not like that. She questions herself: Did my clothes give out the wrong signals? Did I say something to make him do it? She spirals downward into misery feeling debased and hopeless.

Because she was raped. It might take days, weeks and month till she even comprehends that she was raped. That she did not lead him on. That she never had a chance. Because her asshole date knows he can get away it. Because there are dozens of assholes like him. Because men are not the only ones spewing this Shit. Yes, there are other women who are conditioned to blame the victim because she had penis inside her. In rape culture that is in general a bad thing.**

Women are told not to get raped. So it is really a surprise that when rapes happen the victim is going into self-blame mode? Not to mention all that misogynist bull-crap that demonizes sex and rather has teens getting pregnant and STDs. While it raises the sons with the comfort of knowing that they can get away with rape. Because in the US the media tells you to feel sorry the rapists and the life they might have led had they not raped someone (you know like gang raping an unconscious drunk girl they carried around and offered to their sociopath buddies).

Even if the woman in question had expressed her concerns more pressingly and fought back. During the rape trial she would still have to answer for what she wore as if we did not already know that it has absolutely nothing to do with it.** The girl does not need to be a model or wear a short skirt. Hell, in Egypt and other countries woman in burka's get raped - because these assholes know that those woman have no protection. A burka practically says: I am scared of men and have surrendered to patriarchal dominance. Plus they know that the woman in the burka is most likely not going to report anything for fear of punishment: beatings, getting thrown out or in jail.

Western society is not much better. Our mechanism are more subtle. Any woman coming forward with a rape charge faced a second rape: public humiliation. We question the victim for how many other guys she had sex with. What type of sex she has. What signals she might have sent out. Even if they find proof like bruises and semen inside her - the rapist can still claim it was consensual.

There boards and western civilization are filled with people give credit to these bogus charges. Who run around claiming that so many rapes are invented by the victims. I am sick and tired of these cockroaches.

Decent men do not need to sprout these lies. Decent men are not worried about "false rape" accusations. Decent men ask their partners for consent. They respect their dates. They want to make the other one feel safe and comfortable. If the woman is not ready, they say gallantly good bye and call to make another date at another day. If the woman is not interested at all, they say gallantly good bye and wish her the best of luck. They walk away from the date knowing that she might wake up with a hangover but she sure will smile having met someone who respected her as a person.

We seriously need to teach men not to rape. We need sex education that addresses not just the biological details: but also why you should regularly see a doctor even if you do not have sex. What consent is, that strange rape is the tiniest percentage of rapes. What date rape is and how to respect boundaries. That talking about sex is with your partner is important. How to make sure the partner is really comfortable. We need to teach especially girls that any asshole who pressures them to have sex needs to be dumped ASAP.

But what we also needs is to forbid people to be on juries who got their brains fucked up sideways by misogyny. In fact anyone who gets his morale from the bible needs to be excluded from a jury. You know that sickening book that has rape victims marry their rapist or having them stoned to death for not getting raped the right way?

Sometimes, I really want to get off this planet. Then I am really glad that I live in a place where women are not living in constant fear of getting raped. In fact, I never came close to worrying about this. Walking through our main capital in the middle of the night no less. I am really glad about this - but it makes me still sad that the same fortune is not extended to every women (hell make that person) on the planet.


* Incidentally, the fucktard was not practicing anymore. He was probably a combined version of Todd Akin and that good christian OB who promotes ritual beating of children. He got divorced by his wife for raping her in the ass while she was sleeping. Which he said he did only because he meant to vaginally raped her. A mistake that can happen to any OB - any OB that believes that rape does not get you pregnant and who has read somewhere that only sluts gets STDs.
** It's only good if it's the other way around - you know penis inside someone. Unless were are talking buggery, that is just the type of porn people who protest gay marriage watch at their computers when they think google is not looking (google knows everything - because they searched for ebony, gay sex and big dicks earlier)
*** Rape is about power. That power is not just the "beat her up, tie her down and rape her bloddy" type of power. It's the power to do what he wants without having to give a fuck about anybody else. It's the take what I want attitude.
(#) Yeah I try to stay away from gendered and racial slurs but I am not perfect and I am not as picky as the social justice league. So you might point out why something is not okay to use but don't be an ass about it. I really do not like these crusaders who get off on policing every tiny bit of language.

After question: Am I the only one who frequently in SVU episodes (and only then) hopes that someone flips out and stabs the sick bastards who get away multiple times? I mean, it is not the most decent solution but a girl can dream - can she?
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Date/Time: 2013-04-13 18:43 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] theresa_ramseyer
theresa_ramseyer: (Default)
This is one of the reasons why I can't watch SVU. It's too sick for me. I have been sheltered my whole life, mainly because of where we live and I've been a shy, quiet, good girl and pretty much still am.

The more I find out about the rape culture in this country (USA), the sicker I get. Reading about Rehtaeh Parsons, in Canada, made me cry, sick, and angry. A beautiful, useful life is gone, and for what? Because the men who raped her got nothing. NOTHING happened to them. Only because she killed herself and her story has been spread around the internet is there a slim hope that something MAY happen to them. But don't hold your breath that they will be found accountable in any way - I'm not holding mine.

I was never a fan of the character or the actress that played Catherine Willows on the original CSI, but I did catch a rerun of the episode Built to Kill a couple of years ago. I saw the part where she makeshifts a rape kit and takes samples, after she wakes up in a horrid hotel. I think this storyline should be required watching, multiple times, for all sexes in school, so they know what to be aware of, what to save and not to take a shower/bath, and so forth.

It would be a notice to anyone considering rape, "hey, this person will know what to do and what to save if I/we rape them." Possibly it will make them think twice.

I also believe that no student or child should ever be allowed to opt out of factual sex ed, which should include classes on rape, stds, cyber bullying, how to put on condoms, where to be tested for diseases, abusive relationships, warning signs, and regular practice of defensive moves - and all this each and every year. It's not a religious issue or a "conscience" issue, it's a person issue.

Playing sports in gym class is usually fun, sure. But you're not likely to end up on the Olympic volleyball team. You are likely to be harassed and/or bullied and/or raped at least once in your life (and I include all sexes and genders) - isn't it worthwhile to at least learn and practice defensive moves, beliefs, and attitudes, not only in school, but afterwards as well?

I live a few blocks from our community center. As far as I know, there are no classes or provisions for people to learn and practice self-defense, and/or protection against rape or what to do to prevent it (not victim shaming). It bothers me, but no one wants to do anything about it.

Sorry for the rant.

Theresa

March 2014

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